Chapter 15 — Aborted
Purple Streets of Chang'an · Page 1 of 4
If only Mother were not so deeply attached to him!
As things stood, there was really nothing she could do.
Dou Yan heaved a deep sigh.
Toward her mother, a strange, sudden swell of feeling rose in her.
It seemed to hold a little heartache, a little tender pity, and something else besides... envy!
The instant the thought took shape, she gave a great start.
To grieve for her mother's plight, to pity her mother's hardship—these were only natural human feelings. But why should she envy her?
What was there in her mother to envy?
The deep affection she had once possessed? Or the unguarded frankness her mother showed before her father?
Dou Yan was somewhat bewildered, and somewhat at a loss.
After seeing off Lady Wei and her son, she sat on the heated kang and watched Hanxiao and Shuangzhi help her mother take down her hairpins and ornaments.
Her father came in.
His face was somewhat grim. "Guqiu, I have something important to say to you."
Her mother turned. Her slender, scallion-like fingers wound about the great red tassel that hung from the handle of her gilt mirror, patterned with water weeds; her gaze was deep and dark as she quietly regarded Father.
The maids and serving women in the room slipped out without a sound.
Father crouched down beside Mother. "Guqiu, Yingxue... she... she... is with child..."
Her mother's fingers, twisting the tassel, suddenly went still.
Father hung his head. "...I could only come to you to talk it over... I know I have wronged you... but to go on as though nothing had happened—I, I truly cannot bring myself to do it..."
"How did the two of you come to know each other?" Mother asked him softly, her tone calm, her fingers once more winding the tassel—now a turn, now not.
Father's spirits lifted at once. "When I reached the capital, naturally I had to call on Mr. Guanlan. It happened that Yingxue had gone there to borrow ginseng..." He hastened to explain, "I did not see her then; it was only that Mr. Guanlan treated me like a nephew of the family, and no one in the household made any effort to keep me out of sight. I heard from the servants in Mr. Guanlan's house that the daughter of Wang Xingyi had come to call on the madam, saying that her cousin was ill and needed a decoction of single ginseng, and asking the madam's help in buying two roots of ginseng a hundred years old or more—only she had not the silver for it. You know how rare ginseng of that quality is; it cannot be had for the asking. The madam tried every means, and even put in some of her own money, yet could only manage to procure a fifty-year root. It came to me that this Wang Xingyi was of the same year as Fifth Brother, a man of iron integrity and a loyal heart, and that his lady, of the Gao family, was wise and righteous—and that such was the end they had come to. I could not help feeling sorry for her, so I told Gao Sheng to buy two fifty-year roots and deliver them to her. When she had the ginseng, she came specially to thank me..." Father's face slowly reddened as he spoke. "I knew she made her living by the cotton trade, so I agreed to introduce her to the steward of our household, and helped her obtain a few other medicinal herbs besides... She asked whether I was married... and I, speaking too quickly, made a joke of it..." His voice was as faint as a mosquito's. "For her father's sake she often went about the capital with her brother, calling on her father's old friends... She is a forthright sort... told me of all the amusing places in the capital... and we drank a little wine together..."
Mother closed her eyes and drew a deep breath. Only after a long while did she open them and ask Father, "Did she never once ask who you were?"
"No!" Father said in a low voice. "I—how could I have known it would come to this..."