Chapter 226 — The Crossroads
Purple Streets of Chang'an · Page 2 of 4
"But the bond of flesh and blood is different." Dou Yan faltered. "Blood is joined to blood, one breath with another... there is no way to cut it away." Her child's face had blurred in Dou Zhiwei's memory, yet what was engraved upon her heart were the feelings of sorrow and joy that child had given her. "When he hurts, you hurt; when he rejoices, you rejoice. You feel as he feels. No matter where you go, no matter where you may be—so long as you still remember, you can never set it down."
Song Yan was deeply shaken.
Dou Yan—she was afraid!
She was actually afraid of marrying!
What could have made her think this way?
Was it her birth mother's death?
Or was it Dou Zhiwei's marriage by proxy?
Or was it the role the Ji family had played in it all?
He remembered that Dou Yan and Ji Yong had grown up together!
This Dou Yan made his heart ache terribly.
He thought of Chen Yanzhou, Duan Bing, Suxin—those around Dou Yan. Was it for this reason that she kept such a forest of skilled hands about her?
He even thought of his father's heartlessness toward him.
Song Yan seemed to return once more to that freezing night—to that night warm as spring, drowsy and lulling, where closing one's eyes meant the Yellow Springs!
He could not help seizing Dou Zhiwei's hand. "Since you knew that if you were stricken with some foul disease, my father would surely break off the engagement for the sake of appearances—before you had even met me, why did you not use that stratagem?"
Song Hei's expression was very grave, which left Dou Yan somewhat taken aback.
"Is it because you felt that if you entrusted this matter to me, I would surely give you a proper resolution?" Song Yan said, his voice low and intent.
Dou Chiyou nodded.
That was indeed what she had thought.
No one knew Song Yan's abilities better than she.
Since Song Yan had managed, in the space of a few short days, to trick Song Cen into seeking her hand on his behalf, he must surely have a way to let her withdraw unscathed and dissolve the marriage contract.
Dou Zhiwei's answer sent a strange glimmer flashing through Song Yan's eyes.
"Then can you trust me once more, as you did before?" He gazed at Dou Yan earnestly. "You had best marry me! However useless I may be, I can still keep you safe!"
Dou Yan was dumbstruck.
She had laid the matter out this plainly, and Song Yan still wished to marry her?
Naturally, she was not so conceited as to think that Song Yan had taken a fancy to her.
Dou Yan still remembered what sort of women had surrounded Song Yan in her previous life!
In those days he had been a rebel, arrogant and unrestrained, with no elders to check him, and even those women had failed to win his favor and be taken into his household as wives. Never mind that she was a year older than Song Yan; her disposition, weathered by countless storms, had grown rather dull and subdued. Apart from poring over ledgers, managing the household, and tending her crops and flowers, she had no accomplishments to speak of. She could not claim to be witty or charming, nor even gentle and demure, so it was all the more impossible!
The words escaped her before she could stop them: "Why?"
Why?
Song Yan was silent for a moment.
Yes, indeed.
Why, indeed?
Dou Yan's lot was pitiable, yet she was no weak creature bowed by suffering. Quite the opposite: hardship had made her tougher, more decisive, more resolute. What did he have to worry about?
The late-autumn night wind blew past, and the leaves rustled, carrying a chill that seeped into the bone. Yet because Dou Yan was beside him, because there was such a person speaking intimately with him, that bone-deep chill became something he could overlook.
"Didn't you say that having someone at your side is always better than being all alone?" he said with a smile. "Rather than let my father dictate my marriage, I might as well marry you. At least we still have things to say to each other. We may as well keep each other company."