Chapter 225 — The Rendezvous

He had never understood why the Dou family would permit such a thing as one sister marrying in another's place. Now he seemed to have found the answer.

But he quickly pressed the thought down to the bottom of his heart.

Or perhaps his pride would not allow him to follow it any further.

It would make him look a proper clown.

Song Yan's heart was bitter and astringent.

He rose to his feet. "Then I will be going!"

Yet his voice sounded so gentle, and so false.

Song Yan curled his lip in self-mockery.

Dou Yan knew she had wounded Song Yan.

Some things could not avoid doing hurt unless she forced herself.

And yet sometimes speaking against one's heart did greater harm than plain truth.

Especially to a proud youth like Song Yan.

"I am sorry! I simply do not wish to marry, that is all." Dou Yan stood up, her voice dry and flat, no longer the pleasant, composed sound of usual. "Let me see you out!"

Is that so?

Song Yan pursed his lips. "Best not—lest we be seen and give people something to talk about."

Dou Yan stood beneath the eaves and watched Song Yan's steps carry him farther and farther away, thinking of those two boxes of pastries, her heart exceedingly sore.

What means would he use to dissolve the engagement between them?

Take advantage of the chance to marry a princess?

And what would others say of him then?

After he already bore the name of one who killed without restraint?

"Song Yantang!" Dou Yan called him softly. "I shall be unwell first thing tomorrow morning. You... do nothing..."

What was this supposed to be?

A sweet jujube handed to him?

Song Yan turned and said with a smile, "I'm afraid that plan of yours won't work—my father is in desperate need of finding me a defective wife right now!"

Surely he hadn't been that pathetic.

Dou Yan could not bring herself to smile.

She said gravely, "Since your father is willing to put up twenty thousand taels of silver as betrothal gifts, he surely does not wish to tear faces with you. I suffer from a serious illness; if word of it spreads, he cannot possibly turn a blind eye." At this she could not help arching a brow. "And even if he wants to turn a blind eye, I will give him no way to do so!"

But if it came to that, what would the elders of the Ji family say?

Dou Yan's formidable confidence left Song Yan briefly silent.

He thought of their first meeting at the manor, of how she had raced a thousand li to save his life... His worries had indeed been superfluous.

She had always known her own mind!

Song Yan felt he ought to be relieved, yet strangely, a faint sense of loss crept into his heart instead.

He nodded with a smile and turned to leave once more.

Halfway across the courtyard, he found himself glancing back at Dou Chu against his own will.

The moonlight spilling over the eaves divided her face in two: her round, fair chin gleamed white as jade, while her eyes, hidden in shadow, were deep as a spring, watching him quietly in the dark—as though this one turn of his would span long years, and they might never meet again.

Song Yan's heart sank for no reason, and he recalled what she had said earlier.

"I simply do not wish to marry, that is all!"

Was that really so?

Song Ke strode toward Dou Yan.

He was not one to run away.

If this was a wound, he would rather let it deepen than let the confusion grow into a thorn in his heart.

"Dou Yan," Song Yan said, coming to a stop before her, "is it that you do not wish to marry me, or merely that you do not wish to marry at all?"

He was the first person to guess her intentions so clearly and plainly!

Dou Yan said earnestly, "I do not wish to marry." Then she added, "No matter who it is!"

Song Yan suddenly lit up, dazzling Dou Yan until her eyes swam.

"Why?" he asked. "Why do you not wish to marry? Is it merely because marriage is too arduous? But you have managed the household accounts of the Western Dou these years—has that not been arduous? And in the days to come, will surviving amid the cracks between your nephews not be arduous? Why, truly, do you not wish to marry? The Fourth Miss of the Dou family I know is not one to flinch from hardship!"

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Dear sisters, I am very late today, and I am terribly sorry!

I also do not know whether I have expressed what I meant to express.

But I have been writing all day, and the more I write the more my head swells; I can only wait until tomorrow morning to look it over again.

ps: Tomorrow is Children's Day—happy holidays to everyone!

Tomorrow is the weekend, and I am not quite sure I dare promise a double update, so it is safer for everyone to read in the evening.

o(n_n)o~

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