Chapter 53 — The Farmstead (Pink Ticket 240 Bonus Update)
Purple Streets of Chang'an · Page 3 of 4
Grandmother said, "Without rules, how can there be order! The Fourth Miss is still young. Whatever you say, she takes as the truth, and when she returns to the Dou household, the talk will be different again—whom is she to believe? It only makes things hard for the child." As she spoke, her voice gradually fell. "And her grandfather has always despised her father for his low birth. If she makes another misstep, it will only make her grandfather despise her father the more."
"Mistress, the fault is all mine," Red Aunt said, bending her knees to kneel and beg forgiveness.
Grandmother caught her up at once. "You are no more than one of Dou Juan's concubines—you and I weigh eight catties against a half—there is no need for this. Only be careful how you speak from now on."
Honggu nodded again and again. "I understand."
Watching her, Dou Yan thought of Dou Ming.
The same matter, and Grandmother and Wang Shuying had reacted in utterly different ways.
In her past life, she had always felt that Dou Ming was happier than she was.
In this life, she looked at herself anew. For the first time, she felt that she was the happier one.
In her past life, Dou Ming had a mother who defended her at every turn; whatever she wanted, Wang Shuying would fight to get it for her, no matter the cost, no matter the sacrifice. And yet it had bred in Dou Ming a domineering, overbearing nature. Once she lost Wang Shuying's shelter, she had nothing but shouting and tantrums. She could do nothing else. A perfectly good marriage she reduced to chaos and ruin, too wretched to look at, and she never understood where the fault lay—she only knew how to blame others.
She herself, though motherless, had a grandmother who doted on her. By the plainest means, through word and example, Grandmother had shaped her life, teaching her not to despair in adversity nor to grow proud in prosperity, teaching her how to protect herself and how to strive for happiness.
She could not help drawing a deep breath.
There was no resentment left in her heart.
She was even somewhat grateful to the father who had sent her to the country estate.
Whatever his purpose in her past life, she had profited from it nonetheless.
Suddenly, Dou Yan's heart opened wide as sea and sky, clouds unfurling and rolling back.
She knelt in all sincerity before the little shrine of Guanyin and thanked her from the bottom of her heart for her care.
Beside her, Haitang asked Tuoniang in a small voice, "When are we going back?" Her voice carried the hint of tears.
Tuoniang shot her a fierce glare. "You want to go back? Tomorrow I will tell Aunt Cui, and have you sent back all by yourself."
Haitang shrank back and dared not speak.
Dou Yan could not help smiling.
She had already met Cui Da, who had managed the estate for her in her past life, but she had not yet met Cui Min, who would later become the famed steward of the reception office at the Jining Marquis's household and be known as "the man who knows everything," nor Zhao Gousheng—later renamed Zhao Liangbi—the chief steward who would manage her shops, nor her personal maids Ganlu and Sujuan...
But there was no hurry for any of that.
Dou Yan was thinking about Tuoniang's marriage.
In her past life, Tuoniang had been sold to
a family named Li to be a wife. The man was more than ten years her senior and a cripple. In the second year after her marriage, Tuoniang bore a son; three years after that, plague swept through the village and both husband and child died. Her mother-in-law said she brought ill fortune to her husband and meant to sell her.
She fled in the night, hoping to beg a meal from the Dou family.
She walked for a year before she reached Zhending, and all she heard along the way were ugly rumors about her mother.
Only then did she find her way to Dou Yan in a fury.
And because of all this, her health was ruined beyond repair, and she died of illness at thirty-seven.