Chapter 969 — Feng's Father Seeks Out Wei Zhao

All along, Feng Xiaoxiao had shied away from the two feelings that occupy the most important places in a life—friendship and love. She knew her own condition, knew that one day, perhaps without warning, she would simply die. That parting of life and death between friends, between lovers—Feng Xiaoxiao was afraid of it. She did not want to suffer and cling when she died, nor did she want to inflict the same suffering and clinging on anyone else. So in her eighteen years of life, friendship and love had been almost entirely blank.

She had no friends in any true sense—only a pack of fair-weather companions who fooled around with her. If one day she vanished, as she had now, having less and less contact with those street-racing friends, they would not go out of their way to look for her. Soon enough, new people who loved racing would join them.

Feng Xiaoxiao felt that she was merely a passerby in this world, a spectator—hurrying in and hurrying out again. When the final lesson of her life truly came, she would leave quietly and calmly, all on her own.

But her father's words today had stirred something in her long-sealed heart, set it faintly stirring. Though she feared the wounds that friendship and love leave behind at parting, she still harbored some hope and longing—for the sweetness and bitterness, the joys and sorrows those two feelings bring; to have one true friend, one lover whose heart moved with hers. If she had that, perhaps she would die without regret?

Only, Feng Xiaoxiao felt that doing so would be somewhat selfish. Friendship, fine—but love... Was she really to let her lover bear the pain of losing her? Feng Xiaoxiao thought it cruel.

Her father's gloom over the years—Feng Xiaoxiao had said nothing about it, but she had seen it all the same. His longing for her mother ran deep, deep, and yet there was nothing he could do but bury himself in work to dull the ache of it.

Sometimes a tiny thought, planted in the heart, becomes a seed; slowly it takes root and sprouts within the body, until at last it cannot be held back and breaks through the soil as a small tree.

Before, Feng Xiaoxiao had not dared to think of love—she knew she had no right to. But today, encouraged by her father, though on the surface she kept denying it, deep down something in her had already begun to loosen.

How she wanted to fall in love before she died... Mn, even if it were only to taste what love is like...

But no—that would hurt someone else.

Feng Xiaoxiao did enjoy mischievous pranks, true, but those were always within certain controllable bounds, cooking up a little trouble and misunderstanding, and always aimed at people who deserved it. To do such a thing to her own lover—Feng Xiaoxiao truly could not bear it.

"Dad, do you miss Mom?" Feng Xiaoxiao asked suddenly.

"Hm?" Feng Tianlong started, then a flash of recollection and pain crossed his eyes. "I do. Of course I do! Why do you ask that all of a sudden?"

"Then if you make me find a boyfriend, later on he'll miss me too, and he'll be in so much pain..." Feng Xiaoxiao shook her head. "And my child would miss its mother, just like me... I don't want to make any of them suffer..."

"Xiaoxiao..." Feng Tianlong sighed. How could he not understand his daughter's thinking? But her words only hardened a resolve in him—he absolutely must have a talk with Wei Zhao.

"Heh, Dad, don't worry about me. I'm doing pretty well right now. As long as you stop dragging me off to doctors, I'll live happily enough." Feng Xiaoxiao shook her head and spoke with an easy air.

"Xiaoxiao, tell your father the truth—do you like Wei Zhao or not?" Feng Tianlong did not answer her words; instead he turned his head toward his daughter with great solemnity.

"Huh?" Feng Xiaoxiao had not expected her father to keep harping on this question, and now the question was growing more and more blunt, leaving her at a loss for an answer. Did she like Wei Zhao? Feng Xiaoxiao did not know. Her first feeling toward him had been anger—she had wanted to get even with him, that was all!

Suddenly, Feng Xiaoxiao hit upon an idea. If she pretended to like Wei Zhao, wouldn't that let her taste what love is like? And then when she died, Wei Zhao would surely grieve—wouldn't that also accomplish her revenge on him?

Heh heh, Wei Zhao, you pissed on me and set off firecrackers on my backside—that was an utter humiliation! I've decided: starting today, I'm going to like you. And after you've fallen deeply in love with me, I'll die and see whether you grieve or not!

Of course, Feng Xiaoxiao could not tell her father this scheme; she could only quietly plot it in her heart.

Having worked this out, Feng Xiaoxiao was overjoyed. She could savor the taste of love and accomplish her revenge on Wei Zhao at the same time—two birds with one stone. Why not?

"Xiaoxiao, invite him out. I want to meet him!" Seeing his daughter's expression, Feng Tianlong knew his guess was more or less on the mark. Even if she could not yet call it love, she was at least quite fond of Wei Zhao—and from the look of things, their relationship had already grown rather intimate, hadn't it?

When his daughter had collapsed in the bathroom, she must have been completely bare, and Wei Zhao had been right there beside her. What did that mean?

"Ga?" Feng Xiaoxiao was badly startled and stared at her father in disbelief. "You... you want me to invite him to come meet you?"

"Yes, what of it?" Feng Tianlong said with a smile. "Xiaoxiao, rest easy. I only want to ask him a few things about what happened when your illness struck—how he went about treating you. You know as well as I do that your condition has plainly improved somewhat. It may be that a cure can be found in what he has to say."

"Is that so..." Feng Xiaoxiao was not entirely convinced by her father's words.

"Of course it is!" Feng Tianlong nodded. "If you would rather not arrange it, then I shall go and find him myself."

"Don't—don't go looking for him. Better that I speak with him first." Feng Xiaoxiao was startled and said so in haste. Yet inwardly she was puzzled: only a few days ago she had used that very trick to lure Wei Zhao over, so how was it that her father now genuinely meant to summon him for a talk?

Surely she was not such a jinx? Had her words actually come true? Feng Xiaoxiao felt rather glum.

"That will do as well. I shall be staying in Songshan City for a few days. When the time comes, bring him to the house as a guest," Feng Tianlong said.

"All... right..." Feng Xiaoxiao agreed with no small reluctance. When she had told Wei Zhao that her father wished to see him, it had been nothing but a pretext to get him to the hotel; now it had become reality, which left her rather glum.

She was supposed to be taking her revenge on Wei Zhao! She must not let things take on a different flavor once Wei Zhao had met her father—he would have met the parents, and how could she take her revenge then? Better that she did not end up losing herself in the bargain!